Hello and welcome to my very first article of 2023, I had a couple of topics in mind but, given we are in the spirit of new beginnings, this piece won the elections. It was not until 2019 that I started the process of articulating what my purpose was and in 2020 I shared a piece about it on my LinkedIn. Before I arrived at this milestone, my life was a series of unending existential crises, cause like most of you, I didn’t just want a job … call it privilege, but I wanted more than a job, I wanted a mission. My friend Regina used to say “it’s over sabi that is your problem”… lol.
So yay me, I found my purpose, I know what I want to spend my life doing, I have a mission, and I honestly hand to God believed that was going to be it. Having identified it, it was going to be all kumbaya, and you know my life will be like a Tom Cruise Mission Impossible sequel where I get to save the world. I just had an outburst of laughter and some tears. That wasn’t how it turned out. The last 3 years have rather been a Bridget Jones film where It’s just as hard walking and working in your purpose. To answer your question, yes. I still have existential crises with a garnish of self-doubt.
I had a moment I stood right there, and my life flashed before my eyes, and I remember the lines from one of my favourite books The Subtle Art of not giving a F*ck, which reads “hell is dying, and seeing what you could be, and what you were”. I imagine myself being trapped in this loop, where I have died, and I keep seeing how small my life was in comparison to all the things I could’ve had and done. You know… like when you negotiate a job offer, and you’re excited, thinking you got the best deal. You are on cloud nine and nobody can touch you, I imagine you listening to Best Day of My Life by the American Authors on repeat. But wait day 1 on the job you realised you short-changed yourself by a lot and other people in the same role earn probably 10 times more than you … Yikes, and it gets worse, there is a clause on your contract, this offer is for eternity, you will never get to renegotiate, you are stuck. That’s my mind sporadically and it sucks.
Finding your purpose is one thing and fulfilling your purpose is another journey all together, and I believe a lot of emphasis has been placed on the former. So how do I live with my purpose? You learn. It is a continuous journey of progress and iteration not to the mission but to how we attain this mission. Taking purposeful steps to accomplish your dreams. In Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist the lines “when you really want something the entire universe conspires in your favour” is my favourite from the book. It teaches me that if I know what I want and work towards it then everything else works in my favour. That said Ladies and gents here are a few ways you can learn to live with purpose.
- Stop overthinking; I am not going to belabour the point, but please read Soundtrack by Jon Acuff. The time overthinking steals from you is time you can make your dreams come true.
- Take Small steps every day; like James Clear explains in Atomic Habits make 1% progress every day and by the end of the year you will be 37% better. Finding purpose doesn’t make you a magician, there is no magic wand, but you can take purposeful steps every day to improve. How do we achieve better results and take small daily actions to improve? Every day identify your 1% and do it.
- Have a community; I recently watched the YouTube video of the girl who won the Guinness World Book Record for the highest number of Burpees. She did Burpees for 24 hours. I had tears at the end of that video and part was because I can’t even do 1 burpee, I hate them and every gym instructor or trainer I have ever had knows this. Do Not put a burpee in my face. But here is this girl who did it for 24 hours, and surpassed her initial set goal of 5000, she did almost 7,000. Mind Blown. What was interesting to watch in that video was her community, she had people who believed in her, who took care of her after every set, carried her to the washroom, fed her, and towards the end joined her in getting in that last rep. It was phenomenal and if you ask me everyone in that room with her won that award because I do not believe she would have done it alone. I mean have you ever tried massaging your calves, how effective is it. So my friend find your people, your tribe, people who will believe in you, invest in you. People who will cheer you own and remind you to be gracious to yourself. Community is essential to success.
- Positive mindset; I read an article that said research shows people with positive attitudes have better skin, wow, so your negativity could be the reason your skincare doesn’t work… don’t look at me, I don’t know either. I am not about to motivate you, but you have to believe you can do it. And this is not you can fly type of bullshit. With your actions, and community you have to become a positive person. Jon Acuff says you have to be ridiculously optimistic about life in a way that makes you doubt your own sanity. Cynics don’t change the world my darling. The story of everyone who has been great, you will never hear them say oh I thought I was going to fail, I planned on failing, and I still don’t believe in all this, life sucks, but anyway I still got the award so thanks. If you have please share that with me via email I would like to study them.
I could add other things like getting a mentor, and get a sponsor (btw these can be one person or two different people) but these people are part of your community.
I want you to remember that it’s okay to get tired, to doubt your purpose, to feel discouraged and quite frankly to want to resign. But there are blessings in battles so when you have those days, say a prayer in your heart and find the strength to still do your 1 per cent. That is my goal this year, not to be resigned to whatever life throws at me or just take it but even in the acceptance of my feelings and situation, do my 1% for the day. Today my 1% was writing this article and I hope you enjoyed it.
Happy New Year 2023. May the year be kind to us and may we daily find the courage to live with our calling.